Most of us know, were all super annoyed when others offer their unsolicited opinion on everything from parenting to lawn care. But what to do when you ask?
It seems the more conversations Dave & I have with people about our baby name options the more I find myself getting defensive, offended & just plain old hurt. I used to be annoyed to death when parents kept their baby name choice a secret until the little tyke was born but now I get it! It’s awful having folks raking your choices through the mud.
When I was preggo with Ransom we told people at 21 weeks that his name was going to be “Ransom David”. Because it was a decision we only got a few brave types who offered, “I don’t like that, don’t pick that name.” And a few others, “oh, that’s, well, that’s an interesting choice.”
But now that I’ve asked publicly on my blog we’ve gotten all sorts of awful feedback, “Luke is gay,” “don’t spell Ryhs that way,” “Simeon sounds stupid,” etc. I don’t want to know what any one thinks anymore.
I also, stupidly asked what people thought of my new tag-line for my blog. Dumb! That opened up everyone’s opinions with one of my friends saying she didn’t like “gabbing with grace,” at all. No harm meant at all (she knows I love her) it’s just that for some reason my preggo hormones can’t handle all of these opinions right now. I’m all hurt for no reason –I mean, seriously –it’s just a tag-line!
Usually I’m all ears & often ask folks for suggestions on all facets of my life with one exception: fashion. I remember once, my friends J & J met me at the airport after a long InterVarsity conference. They both took one look at me & offered, “I don’t like that outfit,” “yeah, it’s sort of cheesy.” (I coulda smacked them both. I’ve since forgiven them & were still tight:) And I happened to like what I was wearing.
I never, never ever, never ever ask for advice on fashion because I know exactly what I like & never ever want anyone’s opinion on any fashion choice I make. I’m thinking I need to adopt this attitude for things that are some how creative. Well, at least for the rest of this pregnancy –I’m too emotional, yall.
So, no more advice from you on baby names, blog taglines (look, design or feel) & for-all-thats-good-in-the-world about any of my outfits. 
Thanks, but no thanks.
What about you? What unsolicited -or solicited- advice annoys, angers or hurts you the most??? In the meantime, I’ll do my best to keep my trapper shut.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
For the record:
1. I love the name Ransom
2. I love all those names you mentioned for Baby#2
3. I love the your fashion/style look
4. I think your blog name is catchy and I like the dual meaning.
5. I love your willingness to put yourself out there and your inquiring mind!
So there.
Love you and don’t see nearly enough of you!
Exactly why we didn’t tell anyone! Everyone has an opinion & I’m too thin skinned at times to take it. Especially when pregnant. After they are born than nobody can say they don’t like the name. It’s just mean:) I think whatever name you choose will be wonderful & exactly perfect. I can imagine Ran as a Robert:) He’s Ranson!
Thanks Beckie & Judy – you ladies sure know how to cheer a gal up.
I totally understand the name thing. We liked Simeon with our 2nd, told my parents (big mistake). They were just plain rude about how terrible it was. Needless to say, we have a Caleb… no Simeon. So this last time we didn’t tell my mom, who went crazy wanting to know and never did even get the fact that she didn’t get to know b/c of her big mouth. I’m pretty sure she didn’t really like the name Judah either, since she didn’t say much when we announced his name… oh well, exactly why we didn’t tell her (:
Hope the end of your pregnancy continues to go well. Stay healthy. Can’t wait to hear the baby’s name (:
I almost killed my mom for telling Emma’s name after she dragged it out of me. My aunt said that it was going to sound like Emily Oh instead of Emma Liou and be too confusing. Who cares right? But it still bugged me and I find it rude. Some people probably found it too old-fashioned and others overused, but we knew both of those things, so I guess it shouldn’t bother me. With Jesse we told no one and it worked out better. I knew most people would say, “that’s a girl’s name” bc Jessie is more common than the biblical boys name.
I’m with ya. Say something positive or nothing at all.
I feel the same way Grace. I have found that when I am asking for the opinion of others on my creative choices, when I ask, “do you like it?” what I actually mean is, “can you share the joy/excitement with me on this?”. If the answer is “no” then please give me something polite like “it’s not my favorite, but it sounds perfect for you”.
It is tough to hear any kind of criticism, pregnant or not.
My encouragement to you is, go with what you & Dave love, no matter what others think!
This is exactly why we didn’t tell anyone Helena’s name until she was here. I knew that I couldn’t handle any “oh…well…I knew a Helena and she was horrible.” type comments. It is hard enough to get two people to agree on a name…when you add in all the outside opinions it can get a little overwhelming.