Comments on: Black Women, Please Can We Fix This? Part 2 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/ From Sippees to Sermons Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:04:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Jason Musgrave http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-942 Jason Musgrave Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:05:05 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-942 I am also jealous of black people's hair, so much so that I had a friend put corn rows in the best fro I a white boy could grow. I really enjoyed the experience. I am also jealous of black people’s hair, so much so that I had a friend put corn rows in the best fro I a white boy could grow. I really enjoyed the experience.

]]> By: Grace http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-919 Grace Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:22:22 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-919 hahaha, Jess, you crack me up with the "greasy, freakish tool" comment! ;) and yes, I think it's totally fine for you to a) comment as a white woman & b) be slightly envious of black styles. I too get envious at the convenience of some of my white friends (probably especially you & Jamie Marshall) b/c your hair looks super cute straight & it's relatively easy & cheap for you to get it that way. However, I know you can't -on a dime- make it cute & curly like I can mine,.... so I save my jealousy. :) also, I know women (of all races) are so judgemental about so many things... were so trite ya know, so it's not just this issue, but it's worth a challenge for peace. hahaha, Jess, you crack me up with the “greasy, freakish tool” comment! ;) and yes, I think it’s totally fine for you to a) comment as a white woman & b) be slightly envious of black styles. I too get envious at the convenience of some of my white friends (probably especially you & Jamie Marshall) b/c your hair looks super cute straight & it’s relatively easy & cheap for you to get it that way. However, I know you can’t -on a dime- make it cute & curly like I can mine,…. so I save my jealousy. :)

also, I know women (of all races) are so judgemental about so many things… were so trite ya know, so it’s not just this issue, but it’s worth a challenge for peace.

]]> By: Jess Fick http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-917 Jess Fick Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:03:56 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-917 great posts G! Should I even comment on this as a white woman? Well, I will with a humble learning posture saying that I've learned a lot about this issue from you & other thoughtful women. I will say, I did like the womans artwork- I thought it was really beautiful & creative. I know how even things like that though can seem like subtle digs on the different choices others are making- it can feel this way with women in SO many areas; breastfeeding, schooling choices, fashion, working vs. not working, and the list goes on. I think an issue like this really hits on how judgmental women can be of the varied options that are out there and women who are making different choices than them. Will it sound weird to say that I've always been a little envious of how many cool things and choices black women have for their hair? Yes- I have read your posts about how it can be overwhelming, but I still marvel at how the braids, rows, updos and natural fros can look beautiful for months while I look like a greasy, freakish tool if I try the same look with my white girl hair. great posts G! Should I even comment on this as a white woman? Well, I will with a humble learning posture saying that I’ve learned a lot about this issue from you & other thoughtful women. I will say, I did like the womans artwork- I thought it was really beautiful & creative. I know how even things like that though can seem like subtle digs on the different choices others are making- it can feel this way with women in SO many areas; breastfeeding, schooling choices, fashion, working vs. not working, and the list goes on. I think an issue like this really hits on how judgmental women can be of the varied options that are out there and women who are making different choices than them. Will it sound weird to say that I’ve always been a little envious of how many cool things and choices black women have for their hair? Yes- I have read your posts about how it can be overwhelming, but I still marvel at how the braids, rows, updos and natural fros can look beautiful for months while I look like a greasy, freakish tool if I try the same look with my white girl hair.

]]> By: Nicole http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-912 Nicole Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:43:47 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-912 This conversation about permed vs straight hair or "good" hair vs "bad" hair completely reminds me of the scene from School Dayz...Madame Re Re's Salon "Good vs Bad" Hair-check out the youtube video if you want a stroll down memory lane:o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtfEmTHeYNw I grew up with the misconception that since my hair was not straight and curly, that it was not good hair. I've wrestled with beauty issues around my hair and the deep brown hue of my skin, but I've learned that a healthy self perception comes from a place of inner wholeness and healing, not from a box or a jar. I say wear your hair whatever way makes you feel beautiful, at ease and empowered. Do your best to keep your hair healthy. And know this truth, natural hair does not always = healthy hair & relaxed hair does not always = unhealthy hair. Good, healthy hair is a task and no matter how you choose to wear it, you'll always find yourself putting in "hair time" of some sort to maintain beautiful tresses... I do sincerely hope that we as, black women, would be able to progress beyond the hair debate. I think we can all respectfully agree to disagree. I dont think this issue is a "hill to die on" especially with so many other pressing issues surrounding our gender, race, and place in this world. Much love to ALL my natural and relaxed sisters! Keep it beautiful! This conversation about permed vs straight hair or “good” hair vs “bad” hair completely reminds me of the scene from School Dayz…Madame Re Re’s Salon “Good vs Bad” Hair-check out the youtube video if you want a stroll down memory lane:o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtfEmTHeYNw
I grew up with the misconception that since my hair was not straight and curly, that it was not good hair. I’ve wrestled with beauty issues around my hair and the deep brown hue of my skin, but I’ve learned that a healthy self perception comes from a place of inner wholeness and healing, not from a box or a jar. I say wear your hair whatever way makes you feel beautiful, at ease and empowered. Do your best to keep your hair healthy. And know this truth, natural hair does not always = healthy hair & relaxed hair does not always = unhealthy hair. Good, healthy hair is a task and no matter how you choose to wear it, you’ll always find yourself putting in “hair time” of some sort to maintain beautiful tresses… I do sincerely hope that we as, black women, would be able to progress beyond the hair debate. I think we can all respectfully agree to disagree. I dont think this issue is a “hill to die on” especially with so many other pressing issues surrounding our gender, race, and place in this world. Much love to ALL my natural and relaxed sisters! Keep it beautiful!

]]> By: Patrice W http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-909 Patrice W Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:41:03 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-909 I have been dealing with this issue for the past WEEK. I think I have to thank Chris Rock for opening up this convo with his documentary. I had a similar experience as a child (meaning I was permless for a long time) as you Grace (except that mom wore chemically straightened hair and dad had a curl.. (that is a whole other topic LOL). My mom took me to my very capable black female peditrician and asked the questions that most moms in my opinion should. How will chemicals enhance/damage her hair from a scientific perspective...She is going to and all white school how will that impact her socially/or emotionally? What are the pros what are the cons? At the end of the day my PED did not recommend chemically processing our hair UNLESS my mother waited until puberty had begun and ended (boobs grown, period started, hips spread the whole nine). SO needless to say I did not get a perm until middle school or high school. MY HAIR WAS also down long to the middle of my back and HEALTHY...My mom was so careful to take me to a stylist who would assure my hair stayed healthy with treatments and conditioners etc. SO I think the message I got about beautiful was that Healthy Hair is beautiful. (thanks mom). I also got a subliminal message that natural hair is a pain in the "@$$" (it took so long hurt so bad lasted so briefly). I realized in my 20's that my natural hair IS more maintainence but I love my hair in all its diversity. I agree that women need to support one another because this hair thing is unique to us and it can cause Deep pain. I hope that I can send the message to my future black woman that healthy hair is beautiful. I have been dealing with this issue for the past WEEK. I think I have to thank Chris Rock for opening up this convo with his documentary. I had a similar experience as a child (meaning I was permless for a long time) as you Grace (except that mom wore chemically straightened hair and dad had a curl.. (that is a whole other topic LOL). My mom took me to my very capable black female peditrician and asked the questions that most moms in my opinion should. How will chemicals enhance/damage her hair from a scientific perspective…She is going to and all white school how will that impact her socially/or emotionally? What are the pros what are the cons? At the end of the day my PED did not recommend chemically processing our hair UNLESS my mother waited until puberty had begun and ended (boobs grown, period started, hips spread the whole nine). SO needless to say I did not get a perm until middle school or high school. MY HAIR WAS also down long to the middle of my back and HEALTHY…My mom was so careful to take me to a stylist who would assure my hair stayed healthy with treatments and conditioners etc. SO I think the message I got about beautiful was that Healthy Hair is beautiful. (thanks mom). I also got a subliminal message that natural hair is a pain in the “@$$” (it took so long hurt so bad lasted so briefly). I realized in my 20′s that my natural hair IS more maintainence but I love my hair in all its diversity. I agree that women need to support one another because this hair thing is unique to us and it can cause Deep pain. I hope that I can send the message to my future black woman that healthy hair is beautiful.

]]> By: Bob Hunter http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/2009/10/13/black-women-please-can-we-fix-this-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Bob Hunter Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:18:44 +0000 http://www.gabbingwithgrace.com/?p=1300#comment-907 You are so smart and you do tell the truth. Thanks for your blogs! You are so smart and you do tell the truth. Thanks for your blogs!

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