This post is a follow up response to yesterday\’s blog about a situation that my husband & I witnessed the other day. I wanted to respond to some of the comments & also to clear up a few things.
First things first, a few details I got wrong. I apologize! Next time I’ll do better research! 
#1. The cops weren’t looking for two black males. They were looking for two males, race unknown. I didn’t know this but Dave also went over and talked to the officers.
#2. Dave told me to be clear that he did not in any way apologize to the men on behalf of white cops in general or on behalf of those two cops in particular. He says he apologized for what they experienced and any pain that may have caused them.
Now, in response to a few comments in particular from yesterday’s post:
~Joe, Phil & Ken are three black males who left comments yesterday of similar painful situations they have been through. And for that I, too would like to apologize for the pain you three have been through. I think it’s a big hot mess that you have to live that way & I pray that things get better as folks become more and more aware of these issues. We keep fighting justice no matter what. I will if you will.
~Tamara said …”I believe it is your intent to bring to light important issues regarding blacks in society. Unfortunately, your methods are doing more harm than good when it comes to race relations. I am so happy that you and your husband are able to share the love of Jesus with people of all color, but this constant racial speak creates dissent.”
I’m not sure if my methods are doing “more harm than good.” The question of the day is: for whom are they doing more harm than good? I imagine my blogging about issues in the black community would do more harm than good for those who don’t want to think about race because of its difficulty or who can otherwise choose not to think about race. Anytime I’ve ever had anyone tell me that I shouldn’t think, talk or blog about race issues they generally fit into one of those categories. This has happened very rarely.
In general, I’ve had an overwhelmingly positive response as I’ve talked, preached, written, or blogged about race relations. And I’ve been doing all those things for the last 8 years, especially in campus ministry where person after person after person -both black & white- has thanked me (& my husband) for raising the hard issues about race relations.
“This constant racial speak,” as you say is actually part of the gift God has given me. I am a biracial woman who grew up as in insider in both black & white communities giving me a unique voice and perspective which allows me to speak to both sides about things in ways they wouldn’t hear from anyone else. I can assure you there will never be a day of my that I don’t think, talk, preach, write or blog about race issues between black and white people. It’s who I am (both black and white) but it is also the call God has given me. I will never abandon my call because it makes you or any one else feel uncomfortable.
Of course talking about these things creates dissent! That is why it is so needed. I think blacks & whites in this country could use a little healthy conflict. It takes work and drama and conflict for any relationship to be healthy let alone one that got started off the wrong foot. (And of course, to describe black & white race relations that way is a huge understatement). How can we expect to move forward if talking about our sordid history does not produce at least some dissent?
What alternative methods should I use? I only have one voice. I try to be as real, honest and vulnerable as I can in using it. If that’s not good enough you have to find the voice your looking for on these issues from someone else who you trust.
All that said, if it’s not good for your soul or produces anger and resentment in your heart towards me, my only suggestion is not to read my blog because I have no intention of silencing myself on an issue that affects me every day of my life.
~Jeremiah offered a very helpful definition of profiling & asked a great question: “Do you consider it incongruous for a Christian to be a police officer where such interaction may be a vocational imperative?”
No, not at all. I definitely think Christians should be police officers and indeed engaged in every sphere of society. Yes, even if that means profiling (as you described it by definition) as a vocational imperative. My hope and prayer would be that they would carry out their job in a just way, showing appropriate compassion and mercy.
Jeremiah also said, …”There is likely a minority of racist and unjust police officers patrolling the streets of America, yet racism and racial profiling are not systemic.” I wonder what you meant here, Jeremiah. I’m not sure that I’d agree that racism is not systemic. Racism was built into all of the systems and structures and layers of our society since the 1st day Africans were carted over as slaves. The police system above all in the last 100 years has been the main proprietor of the most cruel forms of racism. In fact, at one point in the history of the KKK, when they at were most violent, more than half of them were either police officers or politicians –people with power. These systemic systems are still in place, but are played out in different ways. Thank God no one is getting lynched any more, but that doesn’t mean racism isn’t still built into the structure and being carried out in different ways.
It’s not just “likely that there is a minority of racist and unjust police officers patrolling the streets of America,” it’s a cold hard fact. And who is to say for sure, but I’d take a gander it’s probably more than just a minority. There is so much pain in the black community about this issue because for many years, for many generations black men have not been safe from the very people who should have been protecting them. Hopefully you can see even from the comments on yesterdays post about how often it still affects three black men in particular.
Lastly, Dave & I agree it would have been improper for him to apologize on behalf of the cops which he did not. Sorry for my mistake.
Thanks all for engaging this issue with me & I think we all want the same thing: justice to reign in every area of life!
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
And by the way, thanks for sticking up for me, Peter. Your NOT the exception, you big old punk.
Well, I have to say that I didn’t even consider being misunderstood. I forgot that people don’t know who you are when you post these comments! I will briefly introduce myself. I am a 36-year old Biracial woman (white mom, black dad). I grew up in Inkster, MI and attended two Christian schools in the area (something which I also am not sure if it is very good or very bad, it’s probably both) and at some point, went to school with Grace. Point is I too, “am a biracial woman who grew up as in insider in both black & white communities giving me a unique voice and perspective which allows me to speak to both sides about things in ways they wouldn’t hear from anyone else.” I also bring up topics of race relations that often times cause discomfort. I have no problem with that, which is why I specifically called out your methods. I have no doubt that you have had mostly positive feedback because your feelings on this matter are the norm. Your perspective is not fresh, it is the usual “white people need to judge people by their character not color” and I agree, they do. However, there is another side that people are TERRIFIED to talk about. RACISM in the black community. Many blacks have a tendency to be racist, all the while screaming about equality. You yourself have admitted to having some of these feelings. In growing up “both” I can honestly say that I have experienced the most ‘prejudice’ from black females! Not only that, many blacks demand respect while not respecting themselves or the community. Now please, don’t get it wrong, I am not saying that racial profiling doesn’t exist. In fact, I don’t even know anyone who doesn’t realize it is a problem. I am just saying that there is a TWO PART answer to fixing race relations in the U.S. We all know we will never get every black or every white on board because of peoples individual experiences, so forget about that. As I said above, the first part is whites being able to treat black people equally according to their character. The second part is blacks having character. It is my experience that the majority of whites in the US have lived up to their end of the bargain. The blacks have failed miserably. Too many black parent(s) are teaching their children how to behave around the police while neglecting to teach them how to behave in society. Grace, as an educated well-spoken biracial woman, you should be outraged! Kenneth, you and your friends, as educated well-spoken black men, should be outraged! The overall behavior of the black community continues to harm race relations. Your brothers and sisters that don’t handle their business cause you to be unfairly judged! Stop making excuses and start holding them accountable! If we do this in love we will see changes.
Grace, we are sisters in Christ. I am not angry with you. I also don’t question that God is using you in a mighty way. I would not stop reading your blog just because I don’t agree with some of what you say, isn’t that censorship? I simply believe that your human experiences have caused emotion to get in the way of logic on this subject, as is the case for so many dear black Americans. When I said ‘racial speak’ I meant ‘racist speak’. I have close friends that are black and close friends that are white. I will call out a person of any color who does damage to race relations, and Grace, I’m callin’ you out.
Grace,
Really appreciate your blog about the profiling issue. Sandra and I have witnessed this in front of our own home numerous times in Chicago.
One time three men of color were standing in front of my building when a police officer drove by, shined a bright light in the face, and said “get walking!” without an reason why. I was carrying groceries into the house at the time. On my last trip in I stopped one of the guys and said “Listen, I live in this building and I know all the people in it. No one here will harass you. It’s perfectly legal for you to stand in front of this place and if the cops harass you again let me know.” A look of shock came over his face and he asked, “Who ARE you?!?” Apparently no one had been that understanding before, especially a white guy.
I think I disagree with you, though, that apologizing on behalf of someone else is wrong. Isaiah repents on behalf of his community (Isaiah 6) and Abigail apologizes to David on behalf of her husband (1 Samuel 25). In both instances there was fruit in the situation. I’m curious about your thoughts on the matter.
Karl
Grace,
I appreciate you bringing all of these issues up. Race is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately due to something that happened to me. About 6 weeks ago my dad’s car was broken into and my purse was stolen at a Lion’s game in downtown Detroit. It has been a real eye opener in learning how easy it is to become distrustful of people and situations regardless of whether or not they have anything to do with the situation.
We know that someone was watching when we got out of the car b/c my purse was taken out of the trunk. Someone saw me put my purse in the trunk and my dad put something in the glove box. Both things were taken, but other valuables in the car were not.
All of this was of course a real disappointment, but it has mostly all been taken care of. My dad had the biggest loss of all of us, having to pay his deductible in order to get his car fixed. The most disheartening thing of all however, has been the reaction I have seen in my dad, my brother and myself. Every week now, we notice cars on the road we park on that are broken into. We also notice “wanderers” every week on our way to the game, walking the other way, and I myself, cannot help but wonder if it was this person or that person, if they are deciding what car to break into today, etc…. I have never experienced such distrust before in my life, and while I am not certain that it was a black person that did this, the honest truth is that for the most part, the only white people we see in this area are game goers.
I suppose the good thing is that I realize that it is not this person’s race that caused him to break into my car, but the situation. I remind myself of this all the time. My dad and I have actually had some good “talks”… or maybe arguments about this whole situation. I have had to actually admit to myself that I am more distrustful of every black “Detroiter” I see on my way to the game. I cannot tell you how ashamed I am to actually write that, or voice it out loud, especially to you. I would be the first to say my dad already has lots of issues with race, and usually there are not reasons to talk about them. Now, we have a reason. I know that our “talks” are probably not doing him any good… he’s a stubborn old fart, but we have these conversations in front of my brother. I like to think that maybe he is at least being encouraged to think about race issues. The conversations are also helping me to work through my thoughts.
Anyway, thanks for bringing up these issues. I know I have my own issues but it’s usually so easy to ignore them when I am not confronted with them. But seeing how easy it is to become a victim, get angry, and rather than work through that anger or think about it, but to just stay angry is precisely why we need to talk about such issues. I am realizing that it is not my anger or distrust that is bad, but my reaction to it can either be helpful or hurtful. I really don’t want to carry around bitterness and hate towards innocent people… it really sucks… that is something I don’t understand about why there is not more talking (or even yelling and screaming).
So thanks for bringing it up, thanks for having a place for me to write down my thoughts, and to confront them. I am getting emotional as I write this, and I know it is because these issues are so hard. While it can be hurtful to talk about them, I am thankful for the chance to do so. I still have so many thoughts swirling through my head, but it has been good to get a start on writing them down.
Grace & Tamara – thanks for you posts. I appreciate the two different viewpoints to think about.
Grace – Did you mention that both men were waiting for the bus? Any possibility that is why they were targeted, instead of for their race? Either way, I’m glad Dave’s interaction with them was positive. Praise God.
@Tamara – I think I understood you, we just disagree. Here’s what I know is true about me:
1. My perspective is “fresh” in that I’ve had a number of conversations over the years in college ministry to white students who have not had a single honest conversation with a black person about real issues. I have taught numerous seminars to white students who later say they finally understand how blacks feel. In this way, God has given me (not you) a platform amongst whites that is unique. I wasn’t making a blanket claim, I was stating that this is my life’s work -this is what I do.
2. I will be about equality until the day I die because it’s not my idea, it’s Gods idea. My struggles with racism are usually towards whites, that is what I’ve admitted (over & over & over again). It will be a life long battle but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t continue to fight for equality in my heart & in others.
3. Tamara, you are living in ignorance if you think that blacks have more “character” issues than whites. Just because the sinfulness of blacks is played out in different ways does not mean we are somehow worse than white peoples character issues. Sin is sin and it is affecting all of us. Actually, I consistently wonder the character of a people group who can enslave, torture, demoralize (& more) & then not want to talk about it, deal with it & continue to judge harshly the people group they terrorized –where is the character in that? The need for character and integrity runs across cultural and racial and ethnic lines! Indeed, isn’t all of humanity struggling to have character? And you blame black people? You should be ashamed of that, Tamara. We all have issues. I would never deny that blacks have issues & I am outraged by many things in the black community, but we are not to blame b/c white police officers racially profile us.
It’s wrong to imply (which I think you did) that whites treat us a certain way because of some “character” issues in us. Are you aware that is what slave holders did to justify treating African slaves like animals? Are you aware that is what led to the holocaust? Are you aware that black males had to wear signs saying “I AM a Man” during the civil rights movement b/c whites were saying they weren’t men, therefore treating them unfairly?
4. Tamara, who are you to say that I make excuses for blacks & don’t hold blacks accountable? I have for the last 8 years given my blood, sweat & tears to calling blacks accountable in to high character, education, relationships, etc. etc. etc. My life is spent in service to my people, to help us become individually & in community the people God is calling us to be. It’s not an either or. I’m allowed to hold my people accountable as well as call out bad behavior against us.
Two distinguishing qualities of my work is that the black students I work with tell me they now have significant relationships with whites and other cultures because of our ministry. Second, my graduating black students tend to be people of high integrity, have strong black marriages and are strong advocates for blacks in their community and in their Churches.
And I’m doing all that on a large scale.
It’s interesting that your “calling me out,” for doing “damage to race relations” amidst years of fruitful ministry specifically in race relations. You should probably not make assumptions.
It’s wrong to imply (which I think you did) that whites treat us a certain way because of some “character” issues in us. Are you aware that is what slave holders did to justify treating African slaves like animals? Are you aware that is what led to the holocaust? Are you aware that black males had to wear signs saying “I AM a Man” during the civil rights movement b/c whites were saying they weren’t men, therefore treating them unfairly?
I am not angry either, though the tone of my response may seem so. I am avidly defending myself now that I feel I have been misrepresented. God bless you, Tamara & may your journey be blessed.
@ Karl – Dave & I agree with you about the apologizing thing…. but we both believe that it would have been wrong to apologize on behalf of those cops in particular, which we feel would have been wrong if they didn’t do anything wrong & who is to say their true motives? Overall, I think he did a great thing by acknowledging that what they went through was very painful for them.
Thanks for stopping by! Hope you & Sandra are doing well.
@Rachel – First of all, Dave wants me to tell you hello & that he hopes you were at the game when the Lions won. “How awesome,” he says.
Thank you so much for your honest & vulnerable response! That stinks what happened to your dad & you – sorry you had to go through that.
I wanted to say that I thought it was actually pretty normal that you are now feeling a somewhat irrational fear of black men given what happened. Not only is that easy to do (as a sinner in general) but also b/c the media continues to demonize black men.
I think you may know I have felt in similar ways. My white brother who was emotionally abusive and an evil tyrant continues to affect me and I often feel irrationally scared of white men. This is exasperated by my white male friends (like Dave or Jim M.) telling me things they did in high school that is just plain old reckless. In addition to that, I have a fear that white men think they are above the law. I will probably every day of my life still need to deal with all of this though things are a lot better & God has done a lot of healing in my heart. All that to say, I understand somewhat what you feel & I DO NOT JUDGE YOU FOR IT. Honestly, there are a lot of other white people who feel that way who are too cowardly to admit it in any setting let alone a public blog, for that I am very proud of you. I will admit it as well, because I do not think that those struggles make you or I any worse than anyone else & we are also both trying like heck to deal with it as opposed to shoving it under the rug, pretending it’s not there & saying studid things like “racism doesn’t exist.”
I’ll pray God keeps working in your mind & heart & keep dealing with it … it will get better.
Grace,
Yes, I am aware of the ignorance involved in the holocaust and the treatment of African slaves. I am also aware that their own people sold those same slaves to Americans. But this is not a pride issue for me Grace. I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t need to make sure you know how smart or effective I am. I don’t mind if you think God gave you better perspective and platform. It is the fact that you have a large platform that prompted me to comment in the first place. There are really only two things in your response that I need to answer to.
1. I never said blacks have more character issues than whites
2. Regarding the “two distinguishing qualities”… I hope to God that those scenarios are the overall result of your work. Keep in mind that I have never heard you speak or been involved in your ministry. As a result, this blog is my only access to your stance on race relations and it has strong hint of familiar racism. It’s unfair to say I should not assume. I’ve only made reasonable determinations based on the information that you have provided. There’s no doubt that anyone who only knows you through this blog will do the same.
@Tamara,
Though you did not say whites have more character than blacks you did say… “The second part is blacks having character. It is my experience that the majority of whites in the US have lived up to their end of the bargain. The blacks have failed miserably.” I think it is clear where Grace’s idea of whites having more character came from from this part of your comment. I have a difficult time with the statement but what I think I am understanding from you is that in the “work” of overcoming race relations you believe that whites are doing better at judging blacks on their character and treating them equally than blacks are at having and demonstrating character at all. IF that is what you are saying then is is a USELESS arguement. It is not measuarable as you describe it so therefore not comparable. If you wanted to use real data to support that opinion it would have to take into consideration the mitigating “often RACIAL or UNJUST” factors that lead to questionably moral behavior of black folk. (by the way data about how white treatment of blacks has done in comparison to blacks demonstration of character would be for me the ONLY reason for me to consider the statement to be true…though I acknowledge you said “in your experience” )
I agree with you that black people have work to do as it relates to character. Everytime I shake my head at a situation I have heard about and say “thats my people” or when I’m REALLY ashamed I say to my husband “them yo people” I acknowledge that work that needs to be done.
It would be better to hold those two thing in tension with one another rather than compare them. THEY ARE BOTH TRUE. It is true that Many (not the majority) of whites have done well with learning to treat people justly. It is also true that many blacks have done deeds lacking character that make it hard for other blacks to navigate society without being unfairly judged. BUT HEAR ME WHEN I SAY CHARACTERLESS BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR BLACKS BEING PROFILED OR OTHERWISE TREATED UNJUSTLY ANY MORE THAN WOMAN WHO WHORES WOULD BE THE BLAME FOR PROSTITUTES BEING RAPED BY A JOHN. I just use the caps for emphasis not emotion.
thats all. keep the CHALLENGES COMING
@GRACE
Thank you for acknowledging my honey’s pain. Sometimes it is hard for me as a black women to identify with or empathize with the struggles of a black man because I don’t understand them fully. Your immedialtely taking a compassionate stance is a good lesson for me to learn. Somtimes I can be jaded by my realitively easy life as a black woman…(granted I deal with some racisim and I am hurt by it when it plays out in society)…sometimes like many innocent whites I am UNAWARE> which leads to a lack of compassion or compelling action on behalf of my brothers.
Grace I think what Tamara is saying is she wants to hear a little more of your “black folks we got to do better blogs” ..Knowing your work I did’nt see it as missing in your blogs.. but I KNOW YOU. and I have personally been called to higher character and morality by you. I see what she is saying. I think “damage to race relations” is a bit much but there is room for that in your blog as you continue to work out what you want your blog to be useful for.. If you dont intend for this to be the place where you air out and call out the “dirty draws” of black folk leave it out. I respect the content and dont think it does damage to anything.
Gotcha – you’re definitely right. Thanks!
Sandra and I are well but working VERY hard towards Urbana. See you guys there.
Karl
Hurrah for both our awesome spouses who will be on stage at Urbana! (Dave is a part of the Drama Team again). Woot. Woot.
Tamara, I’m sorry. I feel like this has gotten out of hand & we should probably should just stop. I wasn’t meaning to imply I’m better than you or my platform is better or whatever, it was a misunderstanding due to trying to communicate in a way that doesn’t read inflection, tone or help us to clarify as things are said. So, I’m going to just let bygones by bygones & end our discussion with an apology if I’ve offended or hurt you. And also, I’m just so tired emotionally right now & I can’t keep it up.
Patrice, everything you said – duly noted.
(I probably won’t make my blog about calling blacks out, I’m not interested & I have too many non-black readers… but I still love talking about my peeps, so you can expect that, in some way).
Blessings…
Grace,
Thank you for this post. I can’t really relate to what you go through on an existential level (although I wish I could). However, I have also been accused of speaking with only one “voice”–that of a person with a disability. And my response to that is the same as yours: what else am I supposed to do? I only have one voice, and this disability is my “filter”, for better or worse. I only hope I use it in a way that glorifies God. I have seen you do the same with your voice. Keep it up girl! I am so blessed by you!