Thank you for this post. I can’t really relate to what you go through on an existential level (although I wish I could). However, I have also been accused of speaking with only one “voice”–that of a person with a disability. And my response to that is the same as yours: what else am I supposed to do? I only have one voice, and this disability is my “filter”, for better or worse. I only hope I use it in a way that glorifies God. I have seen you do the same with your voice. Keep it up girl! I am so blessed by you!

Patrice, everything you said – duly noted.

(I probably won’t make my blog about calling blacks out, I’m not interested & I have too many non-black readers… but I still love talking about my peeps, so you can expect that, in some way).

Blessings…

Hurrah for both our awesome spouses who will be on stage at Urbana! (Dave is a part of the Drama Team again). Woot. Woot.

Sandra and I are well but working VERY hard towards Urbana. See you guys there.

Karl

Though you did not say whites have more character than blacks you did say… “The second part is blacks having character. It is my experience that the majority of whites in the US have lived up to their end of the bargain. The blacks have failed miserably.” I think it is clear where Grace’s idea of whites having more character came from from this part of your comment. I have a difficult time with the statement but what I think I am understanding from you is that in the “work” of overcoming race relations you believe that whites are doing better at judging blacks on their character and treating them equally than blacks are at having and demonstrating character at all. IF that is what you are saying then is is a USELESS arguement. It is not measuarable as you describe it so therefore not comparable. If you wanted to use real data to support that opinion it would have to take into consideration the mitigating “often RACIAL or UNJUST” factors that lead to questionably moral behavior of black folk. (by the way data about how white treatment of blacks has done in comparison to blacks demonstration of character would be for me the ONLY reason for me to consider the statement to be true…though I acknowledge you said “in your experience” )

I agree with you that black people have work to do as it relates to character. Everytime I shake my head at a situation I have heard about and say “thats my people” or when I’m REALLY ashamed I say to my husband “them yo people” I acknowledge that work that needs to be done.

It would be better to hold those two thing in tension with one another rather than compare them. THEY ARE BOTH TRUE. It is true that Many (not the majority) of whites have done well with learning to treat people justly. It is also true that many blacks have done deeds lacking character that make it hard for other blacks to navigate society without being unfairly judged. BUT HEAR ME WHEN I SAY CHARACTERLESS BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR BLACKS BEING PROFILED OR OTHERWISE TREATED UNJUSTLY ANY MORE THAN WOMAN WHO WHORES WOULD BE THE BLAME FOR PROSTITUTES BEING RAPED BY A JOHN. I just use the caps for emphasis not emotion.

thats all. keep the CHALLENGES COMING

@GRACE

Thank you for acknowledging my honey’s pain. Sometimes it is hard for me as a black women to identify with or empathize with the struggles of a black man because I don’t understand them fully. Your immedialtely taking a compassionate stance is a good lesson for me to learn. Somtimes I can be jaded by my realitively easy life as a black woman…(granted I deal with some racisim and I am hurt by it when it plays out in society)…sometimes like many innocent whites I am UNAWARE> which leads to a lack of compassion or compelling action on behalf of my brothers.

Grace I think what Tamara is saying is she wants to hear a little more of your “black folks we got to do better blogs” ..Knowing your work I did’nt see it as missing in your blogs.. but I KNOW YOU. and I have personally been called to higher character and morality by you. I see what she is saying. I think “damage to race relations” is a bit much but there is room for that in your blog as you continue to work out what you want your blog to be useful for.. If you dont intend for this to be the place where you air out and call out the “dirty draws” of black folk leave it out. I respect the content and dont think it does damage to anything.

Thank you so much for your honest & vulnerable response! That stinks what happened to your dad & you – sorry you had to go through that.

I wanted to say that I thought it was actually pretty normal that you are now feeling a somewhat irrational fear of black men given what happened. Not only is that easy to do (as a sinner in general) but also b/c the media continues to demonize black men.

I think you may know I have felt in similar ways. My white brother who was emotionally abusive and an evil tyrant continues to affect me and I often feel irrationally scared of white men. This is exasperated by my white male friends (like Dave or Jim M.) telling me things they did in high school that is just plain old reckless. In addition to that, I have a fear that white men think they are above the law. I will probably every day of my life still need to deal with all of this though things are a lot better & God has done a lot of healing in my heart. All that to say, I understand somewhat what you feel & I DO NOT JUDGE YOU FOR IT. Honestly, there are a lot of other white people who feel that way who are too cowardly to admit it in any setting let alone a public blog, for that I am very proud of you. I will admit it as well, because I do not think that those struggles make you or I any worse than anyone else & we are also both trying like heck to deal with it as opposed to shoving it under the rug, pretending it’s not there & saying studid things like “racism doesn’t exist.”

I’ll pray God keeps working in your mind & heart & keep dealing with it … it will get better.

1. My perspective is “fresh” in that I’ve had a number of conversations over the years in college ministry to white students who have not had a single honest conversation with a black person about real issues. I have taught numerous seminars to white students who later say they finally understand how blacks feel. In this way, God has given me (not you) a platform amongst whites that is unique. I wasn’t making a blanket claim, I was stating that this is my life’s work -this is what I do.

2. I will be about equality until the day I die because it’s not my idea, it’s Gods idea. My struggles with racism are usually towards whites, that is what I’ve admitted (over & over & over again). It will be a life long battle but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t continue to fight for equality in my heart & in others.

3. Tamara, you are living in ignorance if you think that blacks have more “character” issues than whites. Just because the sinfulness of blacks is played out in different ways does not mean we are somehow worse than white peoples character issues. Sin is sin and it is affecting all of us. Actually, I consistently wonder the character of a people group who can enslave, torture, demoralize (& more) & then not want to talk about it, deal with it & continue to judge harshly the people group they terrorized –where is the character in that? The need for character and integrity runs across cultural and racial and ethnic lines! Indeed, isn’t all of humanity struggling to have character? And you blame black people? You should be ashamed of that, Tamara. We all have issues. I would never deny that blacks have issues & I am outraged by many things in the black community, but we are not to blame b/c white police officers racially profile us.

It’s wrong to imply (which I think you did) that whites treat us a certain way because of some “character” issues in us. Are you aware that is what slave holders did to justify treating African slaves like animals? Are you aware that is what led to the holocaust? Are you aware that black males had to wear signs saying “I AM a Man” during the civil rights movement b/c whites were saying they weren’t men, therefore treating them unfairly?

4. Tamara, who are you to say that I make excuses for blacks & don’t hold blacks accountable? I have for the last 8 years given my blood, sweat & tears to calling blacks accountable in to high character, education, relationships, etc. etc. etc. My life is spent in service to my people, to help us become individually & in community the people God is calling us to be. It’s not an either or. I’m allowed to hold my people accountable as well as call out bad behavior against us.

Two distinguishing qualities of my work is that the black students I work with tell me they now have significant relationships with whites and other cultures because of our ministry. Second, my graduating black students tend to be people of high integrity, have strong black marriages and are strong advocates for blacks in their community and in their Churches.

And I’m doing all that on a large scale.

It’s interesting that your “calling me out,” for doing “damage to race relations” amidst years of fruitful ministry specifically in race relations. You should probably not make assumptions.

It’s wrong to imply (which I think you did) that whites treat us a certain way because of some “character” issues in us. Are you aware that is what slave holders did to justify treating African slaves like animals? Are you aware that is what led to the holocaust? Are you aware that black males had to wear signs saying “I AM a Man” during the civil rights movement b/c whites were saying they weren’t men, therefore treating them unfairly?

I am not angry either, though the tone of my response may seem so. I am avidly defending myself now that I feel I have been misrepresented. God bless you, Tamara & may your journey be blessed.

Grace – Did you mention that both men were waiting for the bus? Any possibility that is why they were targeted, instead of for their race? Either way, I’m glad Dave’s interaction with them was positive. Praise God.