Recently I was ordering a personalized item for Ransom over the phone. This is how the horrible conversation went…
Operator: Rancid?
Me: No, RanSOM.
Operator: Ramsum?
Me: No, RaN. RanSOM. And som, like the sound of some, s-o-m-e
Operator: r-a-m? And then s-o-m-e? Ramsome.
Me: No, r-a-n. N.N.N. (along with her, getting frustrated). Not some, just like the sound of some, but just s-o-M.
Operator: Can, you please spell out his name each letter with a word for it?
Me: R as in rain. A as in aardvark. N as in… um, uh… negro. (inside my head: what on earth are you thinking???)
Operator: long, uncomfortable pregnant pause.
Me: long, uncomfortable pregnant pause.
Operator: uh, oooo —kay.
Me: S as in stupid. (because that’s what I was feeling). O as in… um, uh…ostrich? (oh my gosh, could this be going any worse?) M as in might.
Operator: oh, Ransom! oh. (as if disappointed)
Me: Yep, Ransom.
——-
Who says “n as in negro,” I mean seriously, what was going on in my head? She must have thought I was the biggest flaming racist stuck in the 60′s. I just couldn’t think of another “n” word. Reading too much Malcolm X I guess… 
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
not funny, but funny! gotta love living with unique names.
lol… Grace, I’m dying over here! This is sooooo funny!
AHHHHH!!! I just spit out my coffee!!!!
ha ha! this is hilarious!
i always have to spell out my name for people…. advice for the future: use “n” as in “Nancy.”
yeah, N as in Nancy… now that would have been the obvious choice for me, you’d think.
laughing, laughing, laughing. I always have to spell my name too- I’ve just been saying it’s like kick with an F!
This is hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing!
This is hilarious. It also reminds me of something Jeff does every single time that he spells something on the phone and I hate it. I just know it will be one of those things that our kids can’t stand about their dad when they grow up. He doesn’t say negro, but he comes up with some pretty crazy things.
Hey Grace, for future reference, use this table:
A Alpha
B Bravo
C Charlie
D Delta
E Echo
F Foxtrot
G Golf
H Hotel
I India
J Juliet
K Kilo
L Lima
M Mike
N November
O Oscar
P Papa
Q Quebec
R Romeo
S Sierra
T Tango
U Uniform
V Victor
W Whiskey
X X-ray
Y Yankee
Z Zulu
Nato and all the military yahoos use it…and now that you know it, you’ll know what people are saying when they say “Calling Foxtrot, Yankee, Zulu Niner, Niner, One, Zero!