Several progress reports…
Progress on Responding to Haiti:
Being someone who strongly empathizes with the suffering of others I have to monitor what I take in. If I get too emotionally invested in horrible human atrocities it takes me out of the ball game. (Especially those in which I am completely powerless). In some ways I’ve watched quietly at Haiti’s peril with a brief prayer here and there, in other ways I’m ashamed to say I’ve tried to look away, afraid to take it all in.
Also, I’ve wanted to blog about the devastation in Haiti but I’ve been hesitant to do so, since we have yet to make a decision yet about what our response will be as family.
(If Dave & I give money to something beyond our regular giving we like to invite Ransom into that process so things of this nature will become to a “normal” thing he grew up doing. I.E. ‘When a disaster hits, we give money and pray for them, don’t you?’ Not in a judgmental look-down-on-others type of way, but in a creating-culture-in-our-family type of way).
After we do some research, talk with Ran and figure out what we’ll be doing to join relief efforts, I’ll let you know. And as usual, I’ll invite you to join me.
Progress on Rhys:
He’s making good -but slow- progress in our road to night weaning. The last two nights I managed to wittle him down to a mere three feedings at 1am, 4am & 7am, but I’m still struggling to get us both up at 7am with a smile on our face. By 7am, I am wore down and he nurses while we both sleep until 9:30am. This must end!
He’s still dependent on me or a pacifier to put himself back to sleep so I’m still waking up multiple times in the night when he thinks he’s hungry. This little man is giving me a run for my money though. He’ll go 4, sometimes 5 hours in between feedings during the day and then at night he’ll act as if he is starving -literally starving- after 2.5 hrs.
I know what must be done. The Babywise sleep system is what must be done. I need to grow some cahonies is what I need to do.
The question is: will I be able to respond with strength and fortitude and wisdom in the middle of the night when I’m exhausted after being woken up for the umpteenth time? I need resolve, people.
Resolve!
The day of reckoning is coming soon –the day when I need to begin taking overnight trips and I can’t leave a hungry, crying baby with my husband. It spells disaster with a capital D!
Progress on My New 20/20 Life:
On Tuesday when I had a full day to work I kept thinking about how great it was to be back to work. It was so nice to have a meeting with my supervisor, dressed in my casual business attire, sipping a Latte at Panera.
But, on Wednesday when I had a full day with the kids I found myself thinking about how wonderful they are and how I’d love to spend the chunk of my energy and focus raising them. I looked into their big, brown doe eyes and thought, ‘yep, the Mama job is the one I like best. Ugghg. Tomorrow is a work day.’
And then today, as Dave & I worked side by side at Panera -our house and office is far too messy to attempt a productive work session- I began getting real tasks done, getting completion on loose ends, getting in touch with folks, planning my upcoming trips… and well, you know what happened all ready, doncha?
I was thrilled.
Invigorated! Energized! Excited!
My semester is ripe with possibility for fruit in all sorts of ways! This, I thought, is exactly the type of work I should be doing –I am called to this — I love my job! Stay-at-home, schmay-at-home.
The great news: I’m not at one wishing I was doing the other. So far, I’ve felt ALIVE, engaged, present and at peace in both. I do believe -though my emotions may sway and swivel- that this 20/20 arrangement is the way God wants it to be for my and our family.
Next month, is when I go into a heavy travel season and that’s when the rubber will hit the road. Perhaps, I’ll do another “progress report” after the stress of balancing it all amidst travel begins.
The Sleep Report:
Not getting enough of it. Therefore, I’m off to catch some zzzzzz’s.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
darn, I only made it half way through this post and am now being pulled away…I’ll be back to finish it. I wanted to comment though and remind you that in Babywise they say NOT to let your kids go 4-5 hours between feedings during the day. Feed them every 3 hours (scheduled). I remember my pediatrician saying the same thing. If you let them stretch through the day then they are more hungry at night. Once the ped. reminded me and I was strict about day feedings, the night feedings diminished.
Yep, I agree w/Jod. I’ve heard it a million times and completely agree with “if they eat enough during the day, they won’t need it at night” and it held true for both of mine. That change alone may make all the difference for you. Good luck. On Haiti: I also agree – completely overwhelmed with grief when I watch the news. All I do is cry. I have to be careful or I will despair with overwhelming helplessness when I see suffering. I want to educate myself on it all and then appropriately help, but have to be careful how much I take in. I had the same problem when I worked in foster care. I’m really happy for you that you get to spend more time with the kids now!
Ladies,
It’s only been since he started daycare that he’s been going through that long in eating. It’s b/c he has a harder time with transitioning to the bottle, and then the 4 or days I’ve worked so far, have been hard to pump on schedule, so I now I think I’m actually making less during the day too. It’s all just been rife with problems!
Today, I’ve been sure to feed him every 2 hours & see if that makes a difference tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll do every 3 for sure and then the next day I am going to take away one of his night feedings to so he wakes up starving practically. I’m just running out of time and I start my overnight work trips at the end of Jan. After that I have 2-3 nights a month for Feb., March & April. He’s just got to get this. After that, I’ve got to start letting him cry himself to sleep and self-soothe without sleep props like his paci, being bound up, rocked in the car seat, etc. He’s been so much more difficult than Ransom!
It’s been a slow process, but I have been trying to make one small change every day so as not to bombard him with all of this stuff, but now it’s time to move faster. Today, he barely slept at all b/c he wanted to be held and rocked & coddled to sleep and I just gave in, I don’t know whats wrong with me.
Pray that God helps me to get it together with him, so I don’t worry about him and wonder if he’s burdening Dave, and our daycare lady and my mother’n'law and everyone else, whenever they watch him. I’m so conflicted about his sleep. ;(
Sleep stuff is so hard Grace. I read babywise after you & I chatted about it when Charley was small but it wasn’t helpful for me at the time. I’m not really comfortable with Ezzo because of his personal history, but I did like a lot of what Baby Whisperer said and I know you’ve read that one too. I also like No Cry Sleep Solution better than any of them…
Wow, that was so NOT what I was coming here to say, sorry! I was going to say this: he sounds just like Matty. Matty wants his long stretches to be from his late afternoon feeding to late night and then a long-ish stretch from around 9/10-2am…then we’re back to 2.5-3 hours max. I’m trying to figure out how to get the two long stretches to the MIDDLE of the night, like that second one and then another one from 2am-6/7am…sigh, it’s very hard. He’s totally different than Charley too, she had issues but her nighttime sleep was pretty good from the start.
We are moving him into “his” room tonight so we’ll see if that makes a difference…probably just more trekking for me though, lol.
Also, if it makes you feel any better, our daycare swaddled Charley for us for two months until she was ready to be unswaddled at 5 months old, it wasn’t a burden for them at all, though I know other things can be, but that one wasn’t a big deal…so maybe let him keep 1 or 2 “props” a bit longer? Just to take some pressure off of both of you.
And out of curiosity: what is Dave’s role in nighttime parenting? I ask in “what does this look like in your house” kind of way NOT in a “where the H is Dave?” way. In our house Andy is on toddler duty at night and I’m on baby duty totally solo. I have to go out of town when he’s 7 months and THAT is stressing me out enough as it is…so the fact that you have to leave sooner, well ((hug)) from me, I can imagine that I’d want everything to be “set” too, I understand.
Didn’t mean to ramble…
You might be encouraged by a friend of mine. . . when she had to go back to work when her baby was still little, she was able to juggle her nursing schedule to keep up her breastmilk supply, nurse primarily at night (they coslept, but you don’t have to) and it worked well for them. She told me many times how that was working well, once she decided that the night nursing was going to be part of their “routine.” Sometimes things don’t go “by the book” or according to plan, because the realities of our lives require flexibility.