Oh Christian, Oh Christian, Oh Christian ~ how I love thee.
They both kill. One kills your back, the other your feet and your back.
I must admit, I was a little sheepish to post about not liking to wear my baby. A few years ago when I learned about the ever trendy \”baby wearing,\” it felt like its attachment parenting advocates may not appreciate my point of view.
Which is this: it hurts. I’ve tried the Kozy, the B’jorn, a Mei Tai & a sling. And what do you know? They all hurt my back. But they all hurt my back the same way my 25 pound back pack did in my undergraduate years. Maybe I’m just a weakling who doesn’t like carrying stuff, babies or otherwise?
Perhaps…
The ugly truth is *gasp* I just don’t like wearing my baby.
I would almost always rather being carrying less not more. How do you babywearer’s carry the baby (anywhere from 8-30 pounds), the diaper bag, your purse and keep your sunglasses, cell phone and keys handy?
And please don’t happen to be actually wearing heels that day. Seriously, it’s enough to make me break into a stressed-out sweat just thinking about it. I don’t like to sweat. This is why I spent a chunk of change on a beautiful red rolling laptop case. I don’t care like carrying stuff, dang.
And then there’s the hassle of the on and off, off and on —say, if your out shopping that day. Oh my gosh, it’s so flippin’ stressful to me. I prefer my babies strapped into the car seat as long as they are happy to be strapped within an inch of their life.
Touring beautiful Vancouver with Ransom in what else? The GRACO travel system! 
Honestly, my baby wearing days drive me insane. Every day I try to love it is another day I feel angry because we have four perfectly good strollers in our household that wear my baby adequately. They also “wear” my diaper bag, my purse and they are very willing to hang up my jacket & scarf, keep track of Ransom’s toys, hold my large Diet Coke and keep keys, lip gloss, cell phone & ipod handy.
Let me see you try that Baby B’jorn!
My strollers are like helpful full-time Nannies, except I only have to pay them once and they never disagree with my parenting philosophies.
I could sing the praises of a modern day travel system for ages. I could explain the joy of jogging strollers for days, I could ponder the wonders of a simple Umbrella stroller for hours.
The problem? My little Rhys-y has been such a fuss pot lately that I’ve taken to wearing him around the house.
Hey, Mr. Grump!
Can’t fit a stroller around the house. Love the convenience of cooking dinner while he is happily blowing raspberries. Hate the back ache.
Babywearing is like heelwearing because:
1. You can only accomplish what you need with the necessary evil. You cannot make the baby happy like they are when being “wore.” They do seem to really love it –like ALL the time– this much I agree with.
As for heels, you cannot –and must not try– to attempt the same look with flats that you can with heels. It cannot be done. You must forfeit that the look needs heels and decide for the sake of your aching feet to make it work with flats. There’s no getting around it. We all know it’s true. Heels kick things up about a thousand notches.
Case in point:
Christian Louboutin's 123 multi buckle sandals made my friends Heidi & J.Lo's outfits go BAM! For just under $1,500 you too can make your outfits explode!
2. I can’t live without either of them. Pain or no pain. Beauty is pain, why the heck shouldn’t parenting be also, eh? For all you attachment parenting, no-stroller-owning, dont-hurt-yo-back-Mama’s or anyone else who loves to wear babies: kudos.
I’m a wimp,
So, what about you? Are you heel wearing, baby wearing tortured soul like me?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel your pain Grace…literally ;o) The only carriers that don’t hurt my back are the Moby & the Ergo, everything else? No way. Babywearing is absolutely necessary for me though with 2 under 2, b/c I can’t put the carseat up on the shopping or target cart (which I don’t like doing anyway, makes me all nervous) and still have a spot for Charley. She can’t be trusted in the large part of the cart yet!
But I’m middle of the road about it b/c I love that my babies love strollers. Matty has no problem hanging out in the carseat in our stroller about 90% of the time and I take advantage of that. I love that stupid travel system too ;o)
I’m with you too. I have been having all kinds of back problems since Zoe came along because that girl is just way more fussy and is a bit more needy. For a while I tried the carrier, but now that she’s bigger, I let her fuss, because it hurts my back so much. And I have back problems anyways, so wearing her makes things so much worse. I’m a big fan of strollers for the same reason – they don’t just tote the kid, but the purse, the diaper bad, toys, snacks, a camera, books, and anything else I can throw in there. Plus (and I know I’ll prob. get reprimanded for saying this, but here goes), I’m a fan of promoting the child to work through it and become a little more independent. Too much baby wearing seems to promote a little bit of dependency, in my opinion. Since I’ve stopped wearing Zoe because of it irritated my back problems, she seems to have learned to cope a little better on her own and not depend on me so much, which is ultimately good.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can come out of the closet now and say I HATED wearing my babies!
Fortunately, the second one agreed with me — he fought with me when I tried to strap him into that Baby Bjorn. It was like I was putting him in a straight jacket! I’m with you, little guy! Why are we torturing ourselves? I sold that thing in brand new condition.
Gracee,
Cheers to strollers…and car seats…and bouncy seats…
Love your blog…and since you are always so gracious to comment on my rants…I just had to comment on this one! Let me just tell you how I feel about wearing babies: I paid a chiropractor a CHUNK of change to un-do what one whirlind tour of Syria did to me with a baby tied on. I would have so much rather put that CHUNK of change towards some new shoes.
strollers have their place. i love and use mine. but i also wear my babies, daily, and you know how big they are. BIG. it’s all about finding the right one. there’s nothing worse than wearing a big ole baby in a sling that isn’t comfortable, or isn’t designed well, or isn’t your proper size, or isn’t worn right. in cultures where babywearing is traditional, there’s always another (older, wiser) woman around to make sure you’re doing it right. nowadays, that’s harder to come by.
if you ever want to come over and try out my slings, i’m happy to be that wiser woman.
i’m also happy to use my double jogger when i’m doing laps at the park. it’s all about balance, see? different items for different functions. i can do so much with a baby on my back that i can’t do with a stroller.
Kate is right. I just borrowed the ergo baby. It’s like 500% better than the Snugli we have.